How to Successfully Get Fucked Up and Stay Fed as a Poor Person
Step 1: sleep for most of the day to avoid the hunger pangs that will ultimately set in as you have had no food.
Step 2: when you can’t take it anymore, search all of your old coats, backpacks, purses, and jeans for all the loose change you can find. Keep searching until you find $6.75.
Step 3: go to your local bodega and buy a bag of pita chips and a coors light tallboy. refuse to exhibit shame even though you are purchasing these items of the crackhead elite with only coins.
step 4: crack the coors, as eating before drinking will only give you less of a buzz. take your medication with the coors light on your empty stomach to help achieve a better buzz.
step 5: drink coors light as fast as possible to achieve maximum inebriation off of this modicum of alcohol. then devour chips.
success achieved.
